Community, Risk, and Relationships: Connecting with Others in 2026

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I have felt a newer, unexpected sense of anxiety ever since turning 30 last year that was hard to pinpoint. In a similar way to when I first turned 18, I felt that 30 ushered in a new era I was not ready to embark on. There is certainly some level of concern that I am not as young as I used to be, and I will only get older from here, but that did not satisfy my understanding of why I had an additional level of concern that I had not had before.

However, I believe I finally identified the source of this anxiety last night while listening to the most recent episode of The Holy Post Podcast. Phil Vischer, Skye Jethani, and Kaitlyn Schiess were prompted to discuss understanding value and purpose following a recent article by David Brooks in The New York Times. The discussion on the Holy Post led to some observations I think are worth noting regarding any relationship effort required in what Brooks calls “The Great Detachment.”

What Brooks discussed, and The Holy Post elaborated on, was the idea that many younger people feel that the risks often associated with life, specifically the investment in relationships, can lead to concerns that may push people away from creating avenues of vulnerability. Over the last 20 years, our culture has seen a significant shift in cultural understandings of the value of organized love of country, religion, birth rates, and involvement in different communities. Instead, the only value that has grown in modern American society is financial growth.

With fall of these generally perceived positive morals, the rise of self-fulfillment through finances, and the ability to compare our situations with others thanks to social media, our society tends to over-evaluate the physical risks of what a long-term sustained relationship—certainly could be romantic, but even a strong sibling-like friendship with another person—instead of building such relationships with the understanding of the potential risks of such relationships, including a health concern or death, a financial strain, the inability to leave such relationship to connect with other individuals, and the risks continue on and on. Brooks’s conclusion is that, instead of trying to be self-sufficient through a materialistic, uncertain viewpoint, the only way to sustain attachment is through relationship development.

I certainly related to the aforementioned points. I see the effort my sister and brother-in-law have to put into raising my baby nephew, or good friends struggling through relationship concerns, and I personally do not envy those situations, and thus, I realize that these situations that I have previously romanticized about (no pun intended) actually are new found sources of anxiety for me in addition to similar anxieties that include fears on my end that I will be less valued in relationships due to my nonprofit salary and student loan debt that I hold; therefore, I feel like that I should not put forward the risk of these potential issues arising. Additionally, that is partly why, honestly, I am probably not as motivated to get into shape or continue towards a path of self-improvement in other facets as I have been previously, because I have experienced similar situations in which I made a strong effort to “fix myself,” and it did not have as many life-altering (good) consequences as I had anticipated.

Our society is not normalizing risk in today’s world, as data on modern American values suggest that transactional relationships are on the rise and transformational relationships are continuing to decline. Jethani and Schiess, however, argue that Christians are called to a countercultural risk perspective. A Godly life is meant to have relationships with vulnerability. Jethani cites Alan Noble’s Text, Getting Out of Bed: The Burden and Gift of Living, to suggest that our motivation to get out of bed is simply to fulfill others’ dependence on us. 1 Peter 4:8-10 (NIV) states, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.”

Relationships are truly the only thing that matters in this life, as they are the only thing that we can take up to heaven. Since we are made in God’s own image, we are called to have relationships that God designed us to have with one another. God modeled this perfectly through the sacrificial death and resurrection of His son, so that we may commune with Him directly.

Not all of us are extroverted or are confident in building additional relationships in our lives beyond the bare minimum. Some of us may not even want to continue associating ourselves with our family members or once close friends—some of these situations are dangerous, and let us not invite that danger back into our lives. However, if there is a path for safe reconciliation in those relationships, know that God is with us in these situations. Regardless of your situation, know that his grace is endless and will help us push through the risks to continue growing our capacity to build authentic relationships.

Authenticity: The Antithesis of People-Pleasing

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The beginning of a new semester has come upon us. There are new routines, new opportunities, and new perspectives. As I have entered a semester with certainly different routines and opportunities, I feel that God has given me some new perspectives on how to live effectively going forward.

I have spent a lot of time in my life trying to please others, whether that is gaining lifelong friends, winning over professors and coworkers, or, of course, wooing potential significant others. Living that life can have its rewards, especially when specific personal actions lead to specific outcomes (including losing 60 pounds over a summer to successfully gain a significant other for my senior year in college); however, I have come to learn that the vast majority of these perceived controllable situations are actually quite the opposite.

After processing and consulting with trusted individuals, I realized I had been struggling with people-pleasing. In essence, I was playing mind games with myself to appease others based on what I thought they desired from me, which, in turn, would have somehow given me more value.

If I even move the scope back further, I realize that I often rated my life by trying to reach specific milestones within a certain time period, in order to meet some unrealistic “American Dream” standard, so that I would be further successful in society.

On the outside, I seem to have a lot in order. I am a de facto department chair of a communications department at a four-year institution; I am pursuing a doctoral degree; I am a worship leader; I have plenty of loving family and friends; I have many enjoyable hobbies; and, most importantly, I have an all-knowing God overseeing my life. Yet, deep down, the insecurities of my life have continued to creep up on me. Those include significant student loan debt, not owning my own place yet being single, and holding theological/philosophical perspectives different from those of many others I interact with daily, among others.

So, if my approach to “catch up” and living “normally” like others is not going to be successful, what mindset would help me live for Christ more boldly and confidently?

I began reading Everything Connects by Faisal Hoque and Drake Baer. There are many elements in this book that, despite being secular, draw on principles first articulated in Christian thought. Most notably, living authentically.

It says in 2 Timothy 2:15 (ESV) “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.”

If I were to define authenticity before reading Hoque and Baer, I would say that authenticity is everything in a society that encourages vulnerability. What the authors add to such a definition is a guidance element to authenticity: how we discern the knowledge of certain life situations, also known as wisdom.

Instead of focusing on comparing myself to others, I have come to realize that I need to live authentically—or relish my unique traits, ideas, and perspectives, because God made all of us uniquely and individually. I do not need to love any sinless activity any less just to cater to how others perceive the world. I can still love sports to the level of my youth; I can enjoy ’60s-’80s pop, soft rock, and R&B; I can continue to enjoy line dancing; I can still enjoy thinking deeply, regardless of what my peers and other people in my sphere say, think, or do. As Hoque and Baer mention, we should focus on being connective in our conversations rather than protective of our perceptions. If we are not in a place where we can truly be ourselves, I believe we need to re-examine the situations we get involved in.

God has challenged me over the years to be my authentic self, which includes sharing my story with others and, hopefully, doing more public speaking and book writing in the future. I do not need to live life in a cookie-cutter way, but in a way that is honoring and pleasing to him and lets the world know of his glory.

Even if I have trained my brain to engrain previous, untrue tendencies, God has given us the ability to change our thinking to the point that we can change our brain waves if we take steps to change our thinking (also called neuroplasticity). It says in Romans 12:2 (ESV) “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

There is time for us to renew our minds. There is time to change our perspective from worrying about living as the world wants us to, to living as God has wired us, so we can live unashamedly for the kingdom. And who knows, maybe all of the things that we worry that we need to control, God will show his provision when we are least expecting it, as we know he always provides us with what we need, as it states in Philippians (4:19).

Thus, a good charge for us can come in the words of Pastor Dan Cox from Wonder Lake Bible Church, who, recently, in his 25^th anniversary sermon ended the sermon with the following “Because God has shown himself faithful in every way- by His nature, by His promises, and to His people- we can trust Him enough to live faithfully, love deeply, and serve wholeheartedly.”

Note: Several excerpts from this post were taken from discussion board replies from Regent University coursework.

Is Politics Influencing our Faith? Or is our Faith Influencing our Politics?

To my fellow believers in Christ,

I have been debating on posting this for a week, and after processing and thinking through it, I think this message could be a good reminder for all of us, regardless of how we felt about the election or what “side” we stood on.

For full transparency, I chose to write in a candidate, so I’m trying to approach this as unbiasedly as possible. This is not a stance that I plan to take every election from here on out, but I think this election especially is a good reminder that political parties are man-made institutions.

As believers, we could be reminded at times that we should check our processing of politics to ensure that it comes from a Christ-centered perspective instead of letting our human politics influence our faith walk.

If the foundation of our faith truly guided us to vote for a particular presidential candidate–whether a Democrat, Republican, or third party/write-in–fantastic! I believe that fulfills our civic duty and honors our authority as Christ calls us to do.

However, let us self-examine ourselves to see if we are processing our viewpoints from a Christ-centered perspective or letting our political viewpoints shape how we process our relationship with God.

And it’s not easy; I am trying to discern this as well, and I have honestly fallen short several times listening to content leaning towards both leading political platforms in this country and then making a spiritual judgment from someone’s interpretation as opposed to getting my worldview from the bible, so please don’t see this as an exhortation.

This is not to say that I don’t have convictions that align with specific platforms; I most certainly do. But it has become easy to align ourselves completely with one platform or another before really thinking deeply about how Jesus would approach a particular situation.

I have tried to do this recently: If I am looking for spiritual content to process and ponder, I try to ensure that it is from a) the Bible, most notably, or b) a church or a well-reputable Christian source that cites the Bible (your home church, etc.).

If I am looking for political content, I will try to listen to political podcasts and compare that to my understanding of what I believe the Lord wants from our world.

In other words, I try not to understand (insert political social media pundit here) as a theologian, and I try not to understand (insert pastoral/theologian figure here) as a political pundit.

And no party or political system is perfect and will never be this side of eternity.

Let’s continue to exercise our freedom and privilege of voting (we are a rare generation of people who have had the freedom to choose our leaders during our lifetimes, so thank God for that) and even go as far as being passionate about our politics. However, we must ensure that we utilize our faith as our compass for how we vote and engage in politics, as opposed to processing voting from a “worldly” viewpoint.

Let’s not forget that we should continue to be kind to one another. Show compassion and grace to those who do not see eye to eye with you politically.

God Bless.