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The beginning of a new semester has come upon us. There are new routines, new opportunities, and new perspectives. As I have entered a semester with certainly different routines and opportunities, I feel that God has given me some new perspectives on how to live effectively going forward.  

I have spent a lot of time in my life trying to please others, whether that is gaining lifelong friends, winning over professors and coworkers, or, of course, wooing potential significant others. Living that life can have its rewards, especially when specific personal actions lead to specific outcomes (including losing 60 pounds over a summer to successfully gain a significant other for my senior year in college); however, I have come to learn that the vast majority of these perceived controllable situations are actually quite the opposite.  

After processing and consulting with trusted individuals, I realized I had been struggling with people-pleasing. In essence, I was playing mind games with myself to appease others based on what I thought they desired from me, which, in turn, would have somehow given me more value.  

If I even move the scope back further, I realize that I often rated my life by trying to reach specific milestones within a certain time period, in order to meet some unrealistic “American Dream” standard, so that I would be further successful in society.  

On the outside, I seem to have a lot in order. I am a de facto department chair of a communications department at a four-year institution; I am pursuing a doctoral degree; I am a worship leader; I have plenty of loving family and friends; I have many enjoyable hobbies; and, most importantly, I have an all-knowing God overseeing my life. Yet, deep down, the insecurities of my life have continued to creep up on me. Those include significant student loan debt, not owning my own place yet being single, and holding theological/philosophical perspectives different from those of many others I interact with daily, among others. 

So, if my approach to “catch up” and living “normally” like others is not going to be successful, what mindset would help me live for Christ more boldly and confidently?  

I began reading Everything Connects by Faisal Hoque and Drake Baer. There are many elements in this book that, despite being secular, draw on principles first articulated in Christian thought. Most notably, living authentically.  

It says in 2 Timothy 2:15 (ESV) “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.”

If I were to define authenticity before reading Hoque and Baer, I would say that authenticity is everything in a society that encourages vulnerability. What the authors add to such a definition is a guidance element to authenticity: how we discern the knowledge of certain life situations, also known as wisdom.  

Instead of focusing on comparing myself to others, I have come to realize that I need to live authentically—or relish my unique traits, ideas, and perspectives, because God made all of us uniquely and individually. I do not need to love any sinless activity any less just to cater to how others perceive the world. I can still love sports to the level of my youth; I can enjoy ’60s-’80s pop, soft rock, and R&B; I can continue to enjoy line dancing; I can still enjoy thinking deeply, regardless of what my peers and other people in my sphere say, think, or do. As Hoque and Baer mention, we should focus on being connective in our conversations rather than protective of our perceptions. If we are not in a place where we can truly be ourselves, I believe we need to re-examine the situations we get involved in.    

God has challenged me over the years to be my authentic self, which includes sharing my story with others and, hopefully, doing more public speaking and book writing in the future.  I do not need to live life in a cookie-cutter way, but in a way that is honoring and pleasing to him and lets the world know of his glory.  

Even if I have trained my brain to engrain previous, untrue tendencies, God has given us the ability to change our thinking to the point that we can change our brain waves if we take steps to change our thinking (also called neuroplasticity). It says in Romans 12:2 (ESV) “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”  

There is time for us to renew our minds. There is time to change our perspective from worrying about living as the world wants us to, to living as God has wired us, so we can live unashamedly for the kingdom. And who knows, maybe all of the things that we worry that we need to control, God will show his provision when we are least expecting it, as we know he always provides us with what we need, as it states in Philippians (4:19).  

Thus, a good charge for us can come in the words of Pastor Dan Cox from Wonder Lake Bible Church, who, recently, in his 25^th anniversary sermon ended the sermon with the following “Because God has shown himself faithful in every way- by His nature, by His promises, and to His people- we can trust Him enough to live faithfully, love deeply, and serve wholeheartedly.”  

Note: Several excerpts from this post were taken from discussion board replies from Regent University coursework.